Quambigjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, egotistical donkey.

Quambigjarn created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quambigjarn, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quambigjarn, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Quambigjarn's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Quambigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Quambigjarn.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Never jump near squirrels.

4. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Do not commit murder.