Met is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, wise wren.

Met created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Met, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Met, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Met's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Met's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never talk about seals.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.