Sawhomkad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, happy centaur.

Sawhomkad created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawhomkad, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sawhomkad, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sawhomkad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Sawhomkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Sawhomkad on top of all buildings.

4. Run away from black snails, for they are unholy.

5. Put Sawhomkad first in all things.