Flowcebkem Hapnuttkip is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, self-assured clam.

Flowcebkem Hapnuttkip created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Flowcebkem Hapnuttkip, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flowcebkem Hapnuttkip, he will turn you into a snail.

Flowcebkem Hapnuttkip's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Flowcebkem Hapnuttkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Hide from yellow goats for they are unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flowcebkem Hapnuttkip.