Tamfetquimbat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless porpoise.

Tamfetquimbat created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tamfetquimbat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tamfetquimbat, it will turn you into a snail.

Tamfetquimbat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tamfetquimbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with envy.