Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome faun.

Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg, he will destroy your home planet.

Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Zagfum Fatwiplamqueeg on top of all buildings.

5. Doves are not to be trusted.