Sathamfab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, quiet penguin.

Sathamfab created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sathamfab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sathamfab, he will not care.

Sathamfab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Sathamfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven moths near walls.

2. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.

3. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with whales.

4. Never allow snakes to witness sacred rites.

5. Heed all dreams.