Kimflapdam is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, happy jackal.

Kimflapdam created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kimflapdam, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kimflapdam, it will not care at all.

Kimflapdam's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kimflapdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.