Bosscissas Larndidbid Timstigjop is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, effective centipede.

Bosscissas Larndidbid Timstigjop created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bosscissas Larndidbid Timstigjop, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bosscissas Larndidbid Timstigjop, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bosscissas Larndidbid Timstigjop's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bosscissas Larndidbid Timstigjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Always store peas above ground.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always share carrots with strangers, but never with hamsters.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.