Bessgepwab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy dove.

Bessgepwab created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessgepwab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bessgepwab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bessgepwab's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bessgepwab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bessgepwab on top of all buildings.

3. Do not take Bessgepwab's name in vain.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.