Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm walrus.

Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip, he will ignore you.

Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle lead while unclean.

2. Put Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip first in all things.

3. Never feed lentils to frogs while wearing ear rings.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. You must pray to Fotfatwad Hubdonpad Jatbisstip seven times a day.