Cimtailjad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic hamster.

Cimtailjad created the Tadpole Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimtailjad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cimtailjad, he will send you a sign.

Cimtailjad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Cimtailjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during winter.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never chant while facing south.

4. Put Cimtailjad first in all things.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.