Zedfenman is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, quiet guinea pig.

Zedfenman created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedfenman, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zedfenman, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Zedfenman's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zedfenman's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Hide if eight rats approach from the south.

5. Never talk about dark energy.