Vogjarngup is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic hedgehog.

Vogjarngup created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogjarngup, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vogjarngup, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vogjarngup's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vogjarngup's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Vogjarngup.

2. Never feed lemons to geese while wearing cyan corsets.

3. Never hurt capybaras.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.