Afpadvag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, uncaring fly.

Afpadvag created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Afpadvag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Afpadvag, it will turn you into a rock.

Afpadvag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Afpadvag's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. You must pray to Afpadvag eight times a day.

3. Put Afpadvag first in all things.

4. Never travel toward the east during winter.

5. Never go into green rooms.