Yimarntig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, deceitful manatee.

Yimarntig created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimarntig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yimarntig, she will turn you into a mole.

Yimarntig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yimarntig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never paint your back orange.

5. Do not sing in public.