Sidbimwap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic swan.

Sidbimwap created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidbimwap, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sidbimwap, it will ignore you.

Sidbimwap's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sidbimwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help eagles in need.

2. Sidbimwap must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Retreat if eight turtles approach from the west.

4. Run away from violet hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.