Linsadwan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, generous goose.

Linsadwan created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Linsadwan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Linsadwan, he will turn you into a worm.

Linsadwan's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Linsadwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons on fasting days.

2. Always wash your hands before prayer.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near bats while wearing indigo shirts.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Linsadwan.

5. Never talk about stars.