Bonkartcabfar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful eagle.

Bonkartcabfar created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkartcabfar, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bonkartcabfar, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bonkartcabfar's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bonkartcabfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dogs.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Never go into brown rooms.