Cetlimbit is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, all-powerful troll.

Cetlimbit created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetlimbit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cetlimbit, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Cetlimbit's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Cetlimbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed oranges to grasshopers while wearing mauve scarves.

4. Never touch water while unclean.

5. Never eat aubergines on fasting days.