Camstafmonarn is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful fish.

Camstafmonarn created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Camstafmonarn, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Camstafmonarn, she will turn you into a worm.

Camstafmonarn's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Camstafmonarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during summer.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Camstafmonarn loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.