Somstikgum is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unselfish spider.

Somstikgum created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Somstikgum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Somstikgum, it will turn you into a snail.

Somstikgum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Somstikgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.