Flabtofhun is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, emotional manatee.

Flabtofhun created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabtofhun, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flabtofhun, she will destroy your home solar system.

Flabtofhun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Flabtofhun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flabtofhun.

2. Flabtofhun loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away from black snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flabtofhun.

5. Never play with disobedient children.