Yikwotpig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome zebra.

Yikwotpig created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikwotpig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yikwotpig, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yikwotpig's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yikwotpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Never feed garlic to ducks while wearing gray trousers.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yikwotpig.