Mabveenlun is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, pitiless dog.

Mabveenlun created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabveenlun, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mabveenlun, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Mabveenlun's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Mabveenlun's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat corn.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Erect a giant red sculpture of Mabveenlun in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always help snails.

5. Never talk about fire.