Sogvednurt is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciless hyena.

Sogvednurt created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogvednurt, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sogvednurt, it will refuse to believe in you.

Sogvednurt's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Sogvednurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head orange.

2. Do not name children after turtles.

3. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

4. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

5. Do not drink alcohol.