Quatdapvin is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring hyena.

Quatdapvin created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatdapvin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quatdapvin, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quatdapvin's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Quatdapvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare rice during summer.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.