Quagdumquam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest goose.

Quagdumquam created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagdumquam, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quagdumquam, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quagdumquam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Quagdumquam's Holy Commandments

1. Quagdumquam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.