Dincutsigcud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless ferret.

Dincutsigcud created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dincutsigcud, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dincutsigcud, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dincutsigcud's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Dincutsigcud's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

3. Never touch blood while unclean.

4. Never chant in spring.

5. Always remove shirts before touching silicon.