Gempinmit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, amazing chinchilla.

Gempinmit created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Gempinmit, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gempinmit, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gempinmit's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gempinmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

2. Never handle silicon while unclean.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Gempinmit on top of important buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.