Kinzigxen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-assured gerbil.

Kinzigxen created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinzigxen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kinzigxen, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kinzigxen's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kinzigxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must love Kinzigxen.

3. Never hurt voles.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never jump in holy places.