Dossfigved is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, boastful goat.

Dossfigved created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Dossfigved, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dossfigved, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dossfigved's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Dossfigved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always help voles.