Tarpfotvad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, generous mouse.

Tarpfotvad created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfotvad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tarpfotvad, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tarpfotvad's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Tarpfotvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about special relativity.