Flowtadcuss Femgonbad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest wombat.

Flowtadcuss Femgonbad created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowtadcuss Femgonbad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flowtadcuss Femgonbad, she will laugh at you.

Flowtadcuss Femgonbad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Flowtadcuss Femgonbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to snails while wearing hats.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. You must never eat coconuts.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away if nine rats approach from the west.