Jamjan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, competent octopus.

Jamjan created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamjan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jamjan, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jamjan's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jamjan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four iron sculptures of Jamjan on top of important buildings.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about special relativity near monkeys while wearing black shoes and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Always count to nine before sleeping.

5. Do not listen to music.