Vabquamkon is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, stupid walrus.

Vabquamkon created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabquamkon, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vabquamkon, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vabquamkon's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vabquamkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers on holy days.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not skip at rivers.

4. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with envy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.