Sitvogdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, thoughtless hamster.

Sitvogdoss created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Sitvogdoss, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitvogdoss, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Sitvogdoss' most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Sitvogdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Sitvogdoss on top of all buildings.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sitvogdoss.