Gemquamflap Fobbunged is a god.

It takes the form of a large, two-faced gerbil.

Gemquamflap Fobbunged created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemquamflap Fobbunged, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gemquamflap Fobbunged, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gemquamflap Fobbunged's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gemquamflap Fobbunged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

4. Always store onions above ground.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.