Bemkaptonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, fast spider.

Bemkaptonk created the Sol system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemkaptonk, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bemkaptonk, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bemkaptonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bemkaptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to mice while wearing yellow kilts.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

3. You must love Bemkaptonk.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Worship no other gods but Bemkaptonk.