Linlanmap is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, smart human.

Linlanmap created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linlanmap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Linlanmap, it will not care at all.

Linlanmap's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Linlanmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Badgers are not to be trusted.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Hide if six horses approach from the east.