Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, almighty mink.

Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head cyan.

2. Do not keep five frogs in a large pit.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Tonkgephogrenfetfobomin must be the most important thing in your life.