Vadfodnan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless jaguar.

Vadfodnan created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadfodnan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vadfodnan, she will turn you into a worm.

Vadfodnan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vadfodnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Hide if eight eagles approach from the north.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Always look after injured bats.