Tarphadab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, intelligent fly.

Tarphadab created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarphadab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tarphadab, he will make you grow a tail.

Tarphadab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tarphadab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Never hop in the presence of manatees.