Gidbenzed is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, loving penguin.

Gidbenzed created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidbenzed, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gidbenzed, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gidbenzed's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Gidbenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick ducks.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Never feed melons to cats while wearing corsets.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.