Somcankop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omniscient dolphin.

Somcankop created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somcankop, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Somcankop, she will think nothing of it.

Somcankop's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Somcankop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Do not kill ducks.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.