Wonhinrutt Fudbodzan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, temperamental jackal.

Wonhinrutt Fudbodzan created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonhinrutt Fudbodzan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wonhinrutt Fudbodzan, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wonhinrutt Fudbodzan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Wonhinrutt Fudbodzan's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Always store cucumbers above ground.