Ruttstragflan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, generous giraffe.

Ruttstragflan created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Ruttstragflan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ruttstragflan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Ruttstragflan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Ruttstragflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never skip near manatees.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.