Quafkenfutkab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful lizard.

Quafkenfutkab created the Virgo Supercluster five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafkenfutkab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafkenfutkab, she will send minions to preach to you.

Quafkenfutkab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Quafkenfutkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near pigs.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quafkenfutkab.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near voles while wearing purple coats.