Mifcussquillpas Wadmontom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awesome wyvern.

Mifcussquillpas Wadmontom created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifcussquillpas Wadmontom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mifcussquillpas Wadmontom, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mifcussquillpas Wadmontom's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mifcussquillpas Wadmontom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick cats.

2. Always store beans above ground.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Always maintain purity during holy days.

5. Hide from brown mites for they are unholy.