Xinyamweedanfonnelvab Wigtomjip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous lizard.

Xinyamweedanfonnelvab Wigtomjip created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xinyamweedanfonnelvab Wigtomjip, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xinyamweedanfonnelvab Wigtomjip, he will turn you into a rock.

Xinyamweedanfonnelvab Wigtomjip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Xinyamweedanfonnelvab Wigtomjip's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Never allow sharks to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not name children after cats.

5. Never write about enzymes.