Lopkinsag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, moody jellyfish.

Lopkinsag created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopkinsag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lopkinsag, it will refuse to believe in you.

Lopkinsag's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Lopkinsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of sheep.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not kill sharks.