Bossvabfag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonourable troll.

Bossvabfag created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossvabfag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bossvabfag, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bossvabfag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bossvabfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Do not hurt capybaras.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Do not sprint in public.