Zogwodbed is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, prudent seal.

Zogwodbed created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogwodbed, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zogwodbed, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zogwodbed's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zogwodbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Zogwodbed in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help sick great tits.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.