Tifgutbit is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, charitable swallow.

Tifgutbit created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifgutbit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tifgutbit, he will turn you into a slug.

Tifgutbit's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tifgutbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Never talk about special relativity near snails while wearing pink dresses.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Never wear corsets.