Kabspagtom is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, proud goat.

Kabspagtom created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabspagtom, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kabspagtom, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kabspagtom's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kabspagtom's Holy Commandments

1. Kabspagtom loves dogs, so they must be respected.

2. Kabspagtom loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always take life seriously.