Midtafbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unfair fish.

Midtafbarn created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midtafbarn, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Midtafbarn, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Midtafbarn's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Midtafbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Midtafbarn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always help mites in need.