Larggigril Cisstadbat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, omnipotent parrot.

Larggigril Cisstadbat created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larggigril Cisstadbat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Larggigril Cisstadbat, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Larggigril Cisstadbat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Larggigril Cisstadbat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine doves approach from the north.

2. Do not keep eight ducks in a large pit.

3. You must pray to Larggigril Cisstadbat five times a day.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Hide if four monkeys approach from the east.